I realized today I was envious of my sponsor. For background, I am a 1099 independent consultant, and the person who pays for me is called my sponsor. I can now tell the story, as I was once an employee of the company. I won’t go into details, but the short answer is I didn’t take the long view of things and allowed my frustration to vent. I complained about my sponsor in front of his boss and attempted to cut him down and shame him into doing what I wanted. He rightly demanded my resignation but then offered to bring me on as a consultant. There’s a lot of emotion there, and in the meantime, my sponsor has grown as an executive, and made powerful connections that will help drive him forward in his career.
In speaking with another person, I realized I was envious. And then I remembered the stoic approach. There’s no good reason to feel envious. He has chosen his path, and I have chosen mine. Neither is better than the other. We both have our share of problems we must address as well as benefits we enjoy. In the end, the best thing I can do is be happy for my sponsor and commit to working on my own path. When I accepted that, the anger, resentment, and envy vanished. I’m committing to no longe being ashamed or angry as the choices I made or the path I followed. Those were mine, I own them, and I need to make them the best they can be. At the end, that’s all I have.